Still Here
by innocent-rebel
Summary: Even through it all. Theres a part of him, hes still here...Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT

A/N: I feel empty right now.

Warnings: spoiler 100 ep, not much, but a small one.

His mind. It continued to race. His mind all of a sudden had just become a blur, whirling in and around him. He was aware of it all, yet not of anything that continued to go on around him. He knew he was surrounded, but by friend or foe, he couldn't tell. In his heart of hearts he didn't know anymore.

All he knew was to keep fighting, to keep scratching and biting and clawing away at the glass around him and the people trying to get him to stay. All he could feel was wanting out. Wanting to be anywhere but there, just wanting out. His eyes unable to cry the tears of misunderstanding that his heart held. His voice unable to carry over the cries and pleads of help. Of wanting to know what was going on. Everything in him unable to unveil the feeling, his feeling, that he was totally alone.

Every moment that raced through him continued to shoot more pain through his body and his soul. Inside he could see, see fragments of it all. His life, or at least it looked like his life, or what he thought he knew of it. Inside his mind, he saw these creatures. Strange and yet so like him, like he knew he was, the part of him that was trying and loosing the fight to this sudden, monster that had been unleashed in him. And it happened so suddenly to quick for him to even react much, all he knew is that the last words he had begged of someone. Were merely to leave him alone.

Oh but now, how much did he regret those words, how much did he wish his words, when he could speak and not have his voice transformed into growls and snarls, with every pound on his sudden prison that he had been shoved into. Had not been, to leave him alone. He didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to be so scared and trapped, he just wanted out.

To understand these images flashing before his minds eyes. Ones of a green and red blur arguing it seemed with a immobile object in the center of a pale room. The same green and red figure that now stood before him, outside his glass walls. Looking at him with eyes, as though they'd both once known each other and not just been a blur.

Another flashing image is of an animated green blur, that had boundless energy and was bouncing off the walls it seemed causing the green and red one to give chase. That same animated blur was now not so animated and was sitting on the floor not that far from him, looking at him with eyes that betrayed his youth and seemed to dance with unspoken tears, watching the growling thing, that inside even the beast itself knew it had become.

But he also knew, it wasn't always like this, that he had once been a blur himself. His eyes continued to trace round the room, his muscles flexing and never giving out with every pulsating claw on the material, his lock. His prison. His torment.

More images, more flashes and more blurs revealed yet another one, this time clothed in blue that stood inside the pale room, fighting it seemed with no one and two glints of metal that shone. The blur flashing them around like his arms, the same one clothed in blue right there, longing eyes of sorrow at him, telling him he knew of the monster that lies within.

He wailed again at the looks and to those outside, it looked like he was just mad with no control, but in truth it was a twisted agony that kept him fueled. Why couldn't he understand? Why couldn't he just get it right? Why couldn't he remember who these blurs were? He seemed to have once known them, shared something dear with them, but now, now they were only fast paced images before him and his tortured mind.

Had his eyes been able to cry, he would have let the salty liquid fall freely from his shining orbs. But none came, only more growls snaps and snarls that he wanted to just wish away. His mind and body however, where not so merciful to his heart, His body wouldn't let him react other than with his attempts at freedom, and his mind wouldn't let him alone. As he picked up on words spoken, but still barely knew who they were that said them. Who looked at him so mournfully and without hope.

Then finally, there came one last blur, this one though differed from the others. It was quieter and more visual, he could make it out more than others. A reflection of something or someone he knew, like the others, it was green, but this time, the vision slowed. He could see a hue of purple outlining this ones face and a smile on the lips. He could see who that was, he could feel, he knew who that was. That had been him.

Not so long ago, that had been him. He felt separated and yet connected at the same time, calm, but enraged. If that had been him, than what was he now? A monster. A beast with no control or limit too anger that he did not even understand. He wanted to rip his cage apart and find who he had been, he wanted out, he wanted to remember. But most of all, looking at a grey image in front of him, that not even his monster like state could take away or make him forget.

More than ever he just wanted to scream.

"Father! I'm still here….help….."


End file.
